Three Weeks

Three weeks ago today, my Mom left us behind. It's still so hard to wrap my mind around it. I still expect her to walk through the door at any moment. Or to be sitting in her chair when I come home from somewhere. I knew that it was going to happen, eventually, but the end came so fast. I wasn't ready. None of us were. The staff in the hospice unit at the Kalispell Regional Medical Center were wonderful. I couldn't have asked for better. My Mom had so many visitors in her last days. That was comforting. This is only the beginning of the journey. It's going to be full of ups and downs. I need it to be okay to just feel what I'm feeling at any particular moment. I'm going to be sad sometimes, and I need that to be okay. It's going to take time, and things will happen when they happen. Don't push me to do things that I'm just not ready for. This is not something I've ever done before, so I am feeling my way through. But the sun will come out again, eventually.