Last Week

Grief is a journey. This last week was long. It was also hard. Halloween was one of my Mom's favorite holidays, and it was hard that she wasn't here for it. Also, the most difficult part of this week, was the loss of a man who was very important to me. Todd Berget was a positive male role model in my life, and I got to know him when his oldest daughter, Trista, and I became friends back in high school. I've known Todd's extended family for, well, most of my life, and he was a year younger than my Mom. In fact, his birthday was the day before hers. It's hard, because Todd was a really prominent guy in the community, he made a bunch of sculptures, a lot of them eagles that are all over the place, and he also made a lot of Sasquatch figures that are all over the place. One actually looks at me over a fence when I work in the drive thru at McDonald's. It's also hard that my friend and her siblings have to deal with losing their father, losing a parent is definitely hard, a feeling I know too well, and a thing that I am still going through. Today was All Saints Sunday at church, and we honored the loved ones that we have lost throughout our lives and the ones that we have lost over the past year. So this past week was just hard. For all of these reasons. But I'm sure everyone involved will make it out the other side. There's a quote out there that talks about how grief is the price of love. I definitely agree with that. We learn to move on, but there's still some days that are harder than others.

Also, yesterday, I was reading a blog post that a friend of mine wrote. It talked about how it's okay to take up space. It resonated for me, because I definitely find myself afraid to take up space. I am often afraid to state my opinions, share my views on things, and a lot of times I feel like a burden. All stuff I am working through. However, it is okay to take up space. To have feelings. It's also okay to not be okay. Because sometimes...you just break. And that's okay. A lot of stuff has happened in the last few months. A lot of stuff has happened in the last year and a half. And sometimes...it's too much. Sometimes it's too much. And sometimes I'm not okay. But that's okay.